Inspired, no doubt, by this post, my friend, Jacob, took some of his video footage from “the old days” in our little Texas group and loaded it onto YouTube, like here or, say, here. A few of us had formed a little coffee-house type band, and were playing in someone’s backyard for a party of some sort (I actually can’t remember what this was for).
The girl standing there singing, feeling a bit awkward, is, uh, me, the hot guy with the long straight pony-tail is my husband, and also there—just beginning to expand in my belly—is our first child. We had fun standing around the computer screen last night, seeing faces we haven’t seen in over a decade, remembering names, not to mention how young everybody looked. Sheesh!

















Posted by jacob on January 16, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I’ll have to put the file on DVD and send it to you so you’ll have a good HQ copy. For some reason I used the same videotape for a several-second “test” of a lady in our office singing, so at about 11:45 into the unedited tape, you morph into a large black woman for about 10 seconds! I excised that segment (it occurs at about 00:18 in Part 2 of 5 here – you’ll hear a split second of static), and, remarkably, one hardly notices an interruption in either the video or what you were saying.
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I only wish I had place my tripod close to the band in front of the people, instead of standing at the back of the tent. Your voice is too often drowned out by crowd noises.
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I guess we could identify some of the people with interesting taglines about what they did subsequent to this video:
- Crashed his life on crack cocaine.
- Crashed her life on crack cocaine.
- Shot a fellow church worker on a hunting trip (the wounded guy survived and only lost a few inches of intestines).
- Her husband/his dad went to jail for sexually assaulting the granddaughter.
- She went psycho.
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Quite a bunch, weren’t we, eh?
Posted by molleth on January 16, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I know…it’s weird. I look back on those years with a mix of wistful fondness (for the people) and yet also anger and shock that I fell for so much wackiness.
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I was trying to explain it to someone the other day…how, when Jeff and I met God, we didn’t want to become the “normal” status quo Christians…we wanted to be the “Real Thing,” to totally sell-out. If we’d been Muslims, we’d have been the type ripe for blowing ourselves up with bombs, etc… There was this mad love for the God who pulled us out of our pits, but there was a mistaken zeal that was well-intentioned but completely ignorant of His Way. When we left TX, I think I transfered that same zeal into the hyper-patriarch/homeschool/worship-the-family world and thus fell right back into the same garbage, just a different face.
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I have more questions than I have answers, now. I feel like in a sense, I’m right back to square one, back when I first “saw” Him. I don’t really understand much, but I know that—out of all the voices vying for my attention—He’s the One I want to follow.
Posted by jacob on January 16, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I no longer trust myself when it comes to spiritual discernment. That is part of the legacy NCF, or my NCF phase, left me with.
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I’m safe to be around, but I’m not sure I’m the guy you want to be stuck with if your survival is at stake. I’d just as likely pick the mine-filled trail as the safe one.
Posted by Cassandra on January 16, 2008 at 2:18 pm
You are so skinny, and oh-so-cute! With an awfully sweet voice to boot. Looking at pictures on your sidebar, you haven’t changed much.
Posted by Maura on January 16, 2008 at 4:28 pm
You have a beautiful voice! The way you sing reminds me very much of sarah polley:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GORRDB2Fdwo
(That link is to her cover of “courage” by the tragically hip. I’m not linking the real video because it’s all footage from “the sweet hereafter”… that’s one of my very favorite movies and in case you haven’t seen it, I’d hate for you to watch a spoilerful video. So I’m linking to some kind of love montage of scenes from “house”. It’s better this way.)
Posted by pauseforamoment on January 16, 2008 at 4:40 pm
You are so cute! And so earnest. I have been in some, er, intense groups, but SO, SO thankful the Lord kept me and guided me through it all. I think our particular problem was pride – as a church we were accountable to no-one, and had no other leaders in this city or further afield to submit to. It’s amazing what seems like truth when there is no-one to tell you otherwise. And, oh, the arrogance! I remember feeling so superior becuase I didn’t watch certain shows on tv or listen to much ’secular’ music! We were in no way a cult, just a misguided group with all the right intentions but no higher authority.
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The good thing is that nearly all the people in that church are still loving God and walking with Him, except the leader. He is struggling and my heart is sad about that.
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Valerie
Posted by Kievas Fargo on January 16, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I think you have another career to explore…maybe you should have gone pro
Yeah, I’ve been through a few different phases in my spiritual life, too. I think the danger is when we think we have all the answers–that’s when we need to start asking ourselves serious questions. Today, I have more questions than before, but I’m more at peace as well.
Posted by Leah on January 16, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Har har! I had no idea Jeff used to have long hair! Tony had a sweet mullet when we got engaged, but I gave him a “trim” and it ended up a buzz job.
I have to say, I’m glad that our friendship has grown now that you’re in THIS stage of your life. I don’t know much about those other phases you went through, but I do know I’m glad you’re not a Muslim. ‘Cause I don’t like bombs.
But I think YOU’re the bomb!
And now I’m gonna go.
~Leah
Posted by reneegrace on January 16, 2008 at 11:49 pm
you sound awesome Molly… I love it!! seriously.
Posted by chewymom on January 17, 2008 at 6:18 am
I was coming on here to say, “You’re so cute!” and it looks like that’s everyone’s assessment! Sweet voice, too! Thanks for sharing! I was such a dork back in my early years of marriage, I’m not sure I’d want to share old pics and videos of myself.
Posted by molleth on January 17, 2008 at 4:20 pm
*shuffles and kicks*
I wasn’t posting it for compliments, HONESTLY…I actually find the videos more embarrassing than flattering (how I’d LOVE to have something really flattering—but God in His goodness has seen to it that I DON’T—-LOL!). That said, thanks for all de’ nice words. *bashful grin*
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PS. Jacob,
I’m finding myself in a similar place with a similar legacy: I don’t trust myself.
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It’s a difficult spot to be in…I hate standing here just picking my nose, yeah, but it feels much safer than starting to walk in any direction.
Posted by Leah on January 17, 2008 at 7:37 pm
There really isn’t any direction to walk in, Molly. Other than the one you’re walking… toward Him.
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We don’t need any “ism”, or any “camp” or any “group”.
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Just Him.
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But you already know that.